"Fabulous 40"

I have not blogged for a bit because I keep waiting to have the time to sit down and write something "incredible". Haha! It probably won't happen. It's the holiday season, I work in retail, I have three kids, a husband/best friend, a home, friends and a dog.  Life is full!  So instead of getting it perfect, I'm making it real.  What a relief!

Last week I turned 40.  Wow. 40. I dreaded it all of my 39th year.  Not an over the top dread but enough that I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday.  Funny thing is, the day I turned 40, I embraced it totally. I felt proud to be my age and I felt like more of a woman.  I have already seen and been through a lot in this life of mine and I feel blessed to have learned many lessons. I have loved greatly and have been loved.

My birthday this year was a special experience.  On that day I was treated to lunch by my best friend of over 20 years, spent the afternoon on horseback with a treasured friend/cousin, ate my favorite pizza for dinner, spend the evening with my family, mom made a chocolate cake, hubby blessed me with thoughtful gifts. Facebook also makes having a birthday a fun experience.  Close to a hundred birthday wishes came my way! It was a good day.

A couple days later we had a big party! My husband stepped out of his comfort zone and planned a party for my special day.  I love him for that.  He did it because he loves me, what a guy!  We had friends and family there to share incredible food, enjoyed MANY laughs and built memories. It was a great night!

Last night my girlfriends and I had one last birthday celebration.  This year all my friends from high school have been turning 40.  We have made it a point to get together and celebrate with each other.  These are incredible women that I cherish! I was so shocked when I opened their gift to me and saw a Tiffany & Co. box sitting in the wrapping.  I started to cry.  Having a piece from Tiffany & Co. has been a dream of mine for a very long time.  My friends of 26 years made it happen. I was blessed by the love and the thought! We talked for hours, played a few games, drank some wine. It was "fabulous"!

So as I sit here this morning with my coffee and my thoughts, I feel blessed.  I am so thankful for the special people in my life who have showered  me with love.  They are what makes this life important.  They give it meaning.  Love.  I am surrounded by it.  What a gift! 

CHEERS to Fabulous 40!

Proverbs 31 vs. Superwoman!

Here she comes to save the day! It's Superwoman!!! (wait, I think that was the theme song for Mighty Mouse, but you get the picture right?)

Like so many women I know, I am guilty of sporting a big S on my chest from time to time.  It is hidden under my clothing (very Clark Kent) so you may not ever see it.  But it's there and it weighs me down like a ton of kryptonite.

Yesterday was a typical day.  I got up early, spent time with my husband, worked all day, planned a week of meals on my break, picked kids up, helped with homework, played some basketball with my son, planned dinner, took the boys to Boy Scouts, went grocery shopping, put groceries away, cleaned the kitchen, tucked kids in and fed the dog.  I was tired.  Because I was tired, I decided to throw a party!  A pity party.  I invited myself and had a grand time.

I kept thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman.  This amazing woman that God praises in his word and one that I desire to be like.  She is hard working, honored, loved, prosperous, intelligent and confident.  During my party, I was mad at the Proverbs woman.  Why did she have to show us all up?  Why did she have to set the bar so high?  Why can't I be more like her and be JOYFUL about all my hard work? I was mad because I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I went to sleep thinking that I was going to write a blog about that darn Proverbs 31 woman and how I have a love/hate relationship with her.  Funny how God can change things!

As I began to write, I realized that it isn't the Proverbs 31 woman that I battle, it's Superwoman.  It's when I wear that S on my chest and start trying to do everything on my own that I lose the battle.  Every time, without fail, when I rely on my own strength I crumble under the pressure.

If I am truly honest with myself, I am blessed beyond measure with help and support.  There are days that I may feel like I am "doing it all" but am I ever truly alone? NO!  First and foremost, I have a God who says to me "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest".  Who also says to me "do not fear for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you." He will help me and He will help you my precious friend....let that sink in.  Let's all just take a deep breath together!

I am also blessed to have a partner in this crazy journey of life.  I have my husband who is my best friend and companion.  Yes, we can make each other mad and yes there are hard days but I am NEVER alone.  If I would have been humble enough to admit to him how tired I was and ask for some help, he would have been right by my side, no matter how tired he was.  Instead, I choose to have a grand time at my pity party and flap my Superwoman cape around a bit.  Taking all the burden on myself and NOT being honest with my husband didn't prove that I was the most incredible woman on the planet who was able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. All it did was make me tired.

I heard speaker Emilie Barnes talk about the Proverbs 31 woman once and she said something that changed me.  She shared that she had heard women complain that the Proverbs 31 woman had servant girls to assign tasks to.  Maybe we have all been guilty of saying to ourselves "well if I had that kind of help things sure would be easier!" Emilie reminded her listeners that in this day and age, we also have servant girls to turn to and rely on.  They just look different. We have wash machines, dish washers, microwaves, vacuum cleaners, crock pots etc.  I took that to heart and decided to be grateful for all those conveniences.  I figured I should be on a first name basis with my "servant girls" and gave my washer and dryer names.  Now on wash days, Helga and Mamie are a tremendous help and I am so thankful to have them!

When I stopped and took a good look around me, I was sorry.  Sorry that I let another day go by and didn't really appreciate all I had.  Even when times are hard, I am blessed.  Sometimes I just need a reminder.  I'm so glad that God gently (sometimes NOT so gently) reminds me.

So my dear friend, if you are like me and find yourself having a day where your cape is flapping in the breeze and your sporting a big S on your chest, can I gently and lovingly ask you to rip it off? Take a breath, let the promises of God resound in your heart.  Let those around you help and please don't be afraid to ask for the help.  I know the cape is really cute and I'm sure you rock the look....but it's not worth it.

Nana's coffee mug

Sometimes, little things bring huge comfort.  As I walked around my home this morning I was very aware of how little touches make my heart lighter.  I put new pictures of my family on our fridge.  (It was time for an update! My son pointed out that a picture of him on the first day of school TWO years ago was just a touch outdated) I added a new scent to my Scentsy warmer (Honey Pear Cider), I started the laundry (love the sound of the dryer) and just did the normal "mom" routine of straightening and picking up.  Then I decided to have one more cup of coffee.  I opened the cupboard and saw Nana's mug sitting there.  Today, I was overwhelmed.

My Nana was an English Lady.  She was born and raised in England and spoke with the most perfect English accent.  She was classy, funny and a true lady.  She loved me the best! I'm sure all her grandchildren thought she loved them the best too, but let's be honest....she loved me the best right? Every morning, without fail, she had tea and toast.  Tea with cream and sugar and toast with strawberry jam.  She had a favorite mug with pretty blue flowers on it. She used the coffee mug instead of a teacup but it was still very dainty and feminine.  I can still see her sitting in her chair, bedhead and reading glasses and sipping her tea from this mug.  I miss my Nana.  I miss that she was always 100% on my side.  No matter what, she KNEW I could do anything.  She believed in me and she told me so.  She showered me with unconditional love and support.  It was truly a gift she gave me and one that I am so grateful for.

I grabbed the mug this morning and immediately thought of Nana.  Just holding it in my hands brought memories of comfort.  I filled my mug (coffee not tea) and grabbed my bible.  I sat with the living word of God in my lap and my Nana's cup in my hand and realized that I was blessed.  

The memories of being loved by my grandmother are a gift that I will always treasure.  I know how lucky I was to share a part of my life with that amazing woman who taught me so much.  But as I sat with mug in hand and was filled with warmth from memories of being loved by my Nana, God gently showed me that I was failing to realize that HE loves me the best.  

100% unconditional love.  A love that never fails, never fades, never leaves.  A love so huge that there are no words to use that would perfectly describe it.  A love that I can't truly understand to the full extent and that will continue NO MATTER WHAT.  Today, I am truly thankful that God used my Nana's favorite coffee mug to gently redirect my heart.  He used it to remind me that I am HIS and his love for me will never fail.  I can face the rest of this day knowing that I am cherished and remembered by a loving God who knows my every need, my every fear, my every thought.  He loves you too my dear friend!  He knows you and loves you.....THE BEST!

The FIRST

First blog post EVER!  Wow, it is a little daunting.  For years I have felt the need to reach women.  I wasn't sure how to achieve that goal.  I have also felt the stirrings that God has placed in my heart to write.  I have questioned, denied, argued and ignored those feelings for a long time. Today, I have decided to be faithful to what God has put on my mind and my heart.  No matter what the outcome, no matter who sees it or doesn't.  This blog is the start of something new in my life and an act of obedience.  I'm excited and relieved to finally be doing something that I have only thought about for WAY to long!
So, I'm sure the look will change.  I'm sure the layout will improve.  Hopefully the writing will be inspired by the Holy Spirit.  I'm praying to make a difference in the lives of women who, like me, need to know that there are kindred spirits out there and that we are not pushing through this journey alone.
Beloved, if you are reading this, THANK YOU! It is an open window to my heart and I pray that you will grab a cup of coffee, put your feet up and enjoy a few moments of quiet.  Blessings to you my friend!